3 Questions to Consider When Feeling Stuck With Children...

I like to ask these three questions when interacting with a child,  especially when we are not seeing eye to eye:

1.  What does the child really want?
2.  What do I want?
3.  What other demands are being placed on me or the child from outside influences?  (peers, school, other parents, etc.)

#1 is simple (though not always easy).  I ask the child what he or she wants.  This can sometimes require reading between the lines.  Openly listening to a child can go a long way.  I do my best to enjoy their idea.  This does not require that I to commit to it.

#2 is simple (though not always easy).  I ask my Self what I really want.  This can be challenging at times.  I am often surprised by what comes forward when I do this.  Remember, I ask myself what I really want to do, not what I think I have to do.

#3 is simple (though not always easy).  I honor the external influences that I am feeling.  This might include what the other parents would think of me, what my son's school might think about me, or what I think a "good parent" might do.  None of these are necessarily connected to the reality of this moment.  Finally, I go for what feels good, and whenever possible, what is fun.  This is the key.

When I take the time to ask and sincerely listen to the answers to these three questions, I am in a much more informed place to move forward.  It is a way to over-ride the knee jerk reactions I might have toward the children in my Life and gives me an opportunity to tap into the genius of each moment.